I did not even realize that Mother's Day is this weekend. Until a few days ago.
This is when my first born told me that she was going to make it the best Mother's Day ever. I shuddered. What could a 8 almost 9 year old child come up with to make this the best ever?
Her answer? I am going to make you breakfast in bed AND clean the house And take care of my sisters.
Mountains of horrors entered my mind. Just what I want..... Runny eggs and raw bacon.... NOT
My house half assed cleaned, with everything shoved behind couches and under beds, dirt swept under the rugs. Yay, more cleaning on top of what I usually do. Not to mention the mayhem that will be sure to happen with her watching a 6 year old and a 2 year old. I pictured broken bones with a trip to the hospital from this excursion. Then on top of these wonderful promises of helpfulness she informed me that when I get old that she will put me in a home. But she will make sure it has a pool. I wonder where I failed her, making her want to do such a thing to me?
Then the Hubby comes home, and his plans for me? See above!!! I think they are in cahoots to send me to the mental asylum with a pretty white coat that I can hug myself with. He is just as responsible as my wonderful first born. He gets easily distracted by all things shiny and mechanical.
Why not use that skill for my gift Dear Hubby? My car does need a tune up and an oil change. And it's making a weird sound and vibrates when I hit the breaks. FIX MY M EFFIN CAR!!!! Or better yet, why not take the kids out for the day, so that I can have peace and quiet to get the things I need to get done, DONE!!!
Have I not been a good wife and mother? Everyone gets fed, has clean clothes, and I do my wifely duties a few times a week no matter how bad I feel. I always handle the discipline so that you can be the "good guy".
Or give me money, I like money , in fact I love money! No crappy flowers that are going to die , or chocolate that is going to make my ass expand more than it already has. No helping me out around the house, thus making MY job even harder. Just money or a mini vacation away from the spawn would be very much so appreciated.
But I am also a big softy for all things hand-made. I have plastered baby hands, and hand made cards out the wazoo. But I love them. My babies put so much thought into these that I will never be able to part with them.
If fact I love this card my oldest gave me today!!!
It says:
Dear Mommy,
I love you. You are the best. Thank you for feeding me. ( like I have a choice lol ). Thank for all the love that you give me. With out you I would be living in a box out on the street. ( love that part). If I had to give away all my toys for you I would. I love you so so much. When I'm at Dad's all most every minute I miss you. ( Awww I miss them every minute they are gone)
Love your baby girl,
Mackenzie
How sweet is that? Can't wait to see what Breanna comes home with from Kindergarten!!!
I know I bitch and wine about my kids a lot, but I would truly give my life for them and they are my inspiration for everything I do and ever will do while I am here on this earth.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY PEOPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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