Wednesday, May 30, 2012


So it has come to my attention that we may have to get ready for the "Zombie Apocalypse"  sooner than originally thought.

Maybe, perhaps my little brain is working overtime and reading more into recent flesh eating situations than warranted.

But we must prep for this catastrophic event.

In case you didn't know there have been 2 people infected by the zombieness.

The first case of this horrific outbreak occurred in Florida. This naked homeless mad totally ate the face off this other dude. WTF?!?! Why was a Zombie naked? Of course they are blaming this incident on "bath salts" and "cocaine" , but come on people , we ALL know that is just a government cover up!

The second offense happened in Texas. This Zombie crazed woman, murdered her 3 week old baby and then proceeded to eat his itty baby toes and part of his brain. I like to think of this as a Zombie incident. Mainly because I can not for the life of me fathom the idea of a mother killing her own child then continue on to feed off of it. ( Even if it was a the police claim as postpartum depression ). This is proof that Zombies do indeed like braaaaaaaiiinnnnnnnnnnnssssssss!!!

So we must all compile a survival kit to survive the impeding Zombie Apocalypse! Here is a list of all things necessary:

1. I learned from watching Zombieland that this item is quite important........ Twinkies

2. Guns and lots of them!!!!
3. Of course bullets to keep them puppies ready to fire when needed.
4. a good ride...... like a TANK,  to mow them Zombie fuckers over with!!!
5. An unlimited supply of fuel for your tank.
6. water and lots of it. We gotsa kepp hydrated
7. food!
8. Somewhere safe to bunker down in at nights
9. Johnny Depp ( lets face it, we need to repopulate the world somehow)
Get all these supplies in order and we WILL make it through this!!!!   God Speed my friends, God Speed


  1. There is one flaw in this planning - there is only one Johnny Depp, are you intending to share? Is the Johnny Depp interchangeable with other knowledgeable members of society - cause I don't know about you, but I'd like the next wave of humanity to be able to do more then just act....

  2. Yeah I suppose I could share.... Was kinda thinking about cloning him lol. Brett Michaels would be nice to have too. Maybe a rocket scientist and a few Dr's would be a good idea..... hmmmm Guess I need to add a few more men to the survival list