Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Wait for it

It's Wednesday Bitches!!!

We had a metric fuckton of things to do do today. Bills to pay. All that good shit. And of course I got a late start. Older Little's missed the bus. Mainly because the bus runs at 6:45 and I didn't roll out of bed till 7:38 this morning. they had to be at school before 8:30. Rolled into the parking lot at 8:28. I literally told then to tuck and roll out the door. Me and Little diva then went and paid all the bills. And of course after spending all of Hubbies hard earned money on the essentials like power and Dish, we had to get a Bubblecake fix. Holy orgasmic cupcakes!

Monday, May 12, 2014

Man Crush Monday!!!!!

I hate Mondays. It's the day where I have so much to get started on. Between housework, schoolwork, work work, and the Little's I never get anything done. So to brighten everyone's day I'm putting up more eye candy!

Liam Hemsworth!!!

Ian Somerhalder

Jenson Ackles

Brett Michaels

Johnny Depp!!!

Norman Reddus (Aka Daryl)

Channing Tatum

And of course DANILA KOZLOVSKY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who still isn't following me on Twitter.... I now haz a sad :(

Sunday, May 11, 2014

What I want for Mother's Day

     I have NEVER had a good Mother's Day. It's just a crappy day for me. It just reminds me that my Mom isn't here to celebrate with. And makes me miss her so much more. I know what I want but no one seems to get my subtle hints. So I'm making my list for next year in hopes that the Children and the husband will get the point.

1: I want to sleep uninterrupted for however long I wish. I don't give a fuck if I have been in bed for 12 hours. Leave me alone!

2: I want a day where I don't hear Mom every 5 seconds. In face I don't want to hear it at all. If you want me, just call me George or some shit like that.

3: Booze is always an acceptable gift

4: I know I bitch about how useless they are, but maybe I would like flowers

5: I don't want to worry about cooking or cleaning ALL Day!!!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Feeling a bit stalkerish?

     Is that even a word? Stalkerish.... I might have to look into that. Now this sorta thing takes devotion. I should be making dinner for the kids, or cleaning. But I'm not. I am on a mission, the kids and house can wait. Or eat ice cream for dinner. Whatever. Now I have a mission. I want.. no I need for Danila Kozlovsky to follow me on twitter. Why you ask? Well why the hell not? I could send him wonderful messages then. So my mission is to make this happen... NOW. I'm not a patient lady! So we are making a list as to why he should follow me.....

1: Why not follow me? Isn't it obvious that I am freaking awesome?

2: I don't hold back from anything I want to say

3: I am quite persistent, so you might as well follow me now and save us the time of me doing more stalkerish posts about you. 

4: I am fun!

5: I'm not overly crazy, but then again I suppose this borders on the line of crazyville. So I'm not crazy crazy, I'm like a fun crazy.

6: I am fucking hilarious! 

7: I have an extensive vocabulary. Ok maybe not extensive, but it is colorful.

8: I live in the exciting world of Stay at home mom land, I need something/ someone to entertain me. (Lucky you)

Ok so that is all I could come up with for now, but like seriously you should totally follow me on Twitter. Damnit I'm old (32) and have no life (that's really exciting anyway). I would totally leave my Hubby and maybe one of my kids for you (Yep that doesn't sound creepy at ALL). But really it would mean a lot. And if it helps any my kiddo's would be happy to hear me stop talking about you. Seriously........

Friday, May 9, 2014


     I know that I don't reach out into the interwebs often and ask for help. But this is a time that it feels like the right thing to do. My beautiful sweet wonderful friend as suffered loss after loss. In 2012 she lost her sweet boy Will. Just last week she lost her loving Husband after a 5 year battle with colon cancer. Craig was buried Wednesday, and yesterday one of her remaining 2 children, 11 year old Jessica went to join her Daddy and baby brother in Heaven. This has put a horrible financial strain on Angela. She not only has to come up with the money to cover her Husbands funeral, but now has to bury her baby. I could not even begin to imagine the pain she is in right now. Please go to this link and contribute to help out with funeral expenses. Every dollar will count and help. Share share share this post. Lets get the word out and help alleviate some of the financial pressure for Angela. Lets keep her in our prayers for healing and comfort. 

Here is the donation link:

If you have a twitter account share the link there. Lets get the word out!!


Friday Feels

     So over the past few days my mood has been all over the place. I have spent more time in the hospital with Miss M than I ever wanted to. This week I have been from worry to ecstatic happiness to feeling stabby to mournful lows. Worry for M with fear that she would have emergency surgery, which faded to relief to find out it was just enlarged lymph nodes around her intestines. I felt extremely stabby when the sperm donor decided to come to the hospital. Yep you read that right. The POS that can't be bothered with volleyball or softball and hasn't seen his children since March showed up. And decided to act like he knows every damn thing. I do believe if we hadn't been at a hospital that would revive him, I would have cut him!

     Yesterday (Thursday) was a roller coaster ride of feelings. I've been following the Alexis Murphy case since the beginning. I was over the moon to hear that Randy Taylor was found guilty of all counts and was sentenced to TWO life terms. Personally I think he deserves death, but I'll take what I can get.From that wonderful high, I got throat punched and brought to an earth shattering low. My wonderful friend Angela. I love this lady so very much. 1 1/2 years ago her son died tragically. She buried her Husband Craig Tuesday after a 5 year battle with colon cancer (CANCER SUCKS) , She was left with her 2 SMI daughters. Yesterday her oldest daughter passed away (Not going into any details). My heart is broken for this wonderful lady. She has endured so much loss in less than 2 years. I hate that she is going through this. And nothing I can say will make anything better.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Tasty Thursday: Spinach and Crab dip

Holy tasty goodness! My kids love when I make this orgasmic dip. Now I shall pass this wonderful recipe onto you.

Here is what ya need:

  • 3 tablespoons butter
  • 4 tablespoons minced garlic
  • 1 box spinach (frozen)
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 3 additional tablespoons of butter
  • 3 tablespoons of flour
  • 1 1/2 cups milk
  • 1 package (8oz) cream cheese
  • 1/2 cups feta cheese
  • 1/2 cups grated Parmesan cheese
  • 3/4 cups grated pepper jack cheese
  • 2/4 teaspoon Cayenne pepper 
  • tortilla chips


Melt 3 tablespoons of butter in a skillet over medium heat. Add the minced garlic and cook till the garlic are all nice and brown and smelling of buttery galicky goodness.

                                           mmmmmmmmmmmm yummy!!!

Then toss in the frozen spinach and let it cook till it is infused with the garlic butter heavenly goodness.

add a dash of salt and pepper

                                                  Till it looks like this!!!

Set the skillet aside and it's time to work on the cheesy goodness.

In a pot melt 3 tablespoons of butter and add 3 tablespoons of flour.

                                           whisk it around till it make a kinda paste

Add 1 1/2 cups of milk. Stir and cook till it is thickened some.

Throw in the cream cheese

Toss in the Feta cheese

Add 1/4 teaspoon of Cayenne pepper

Stir stir stir, Get that shit mixed good!

Stir in 3/4 cups of grated Pepper Jack Cheese.

Get it all mixed thoroughly and toss in the spinach and garlic

Oops forgot to take a pic, open your crab, shred it and toss it in and mix well

Transfer to a buttered baking dish... or a cast iron skillet sprayed with Pam like I did. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

Bake at 375 for 15 minutes till the cheese is all bubbly.

Grab some chips, crackers, pita wedged, a spoon, what ever. Eat and enjoy!!!

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Late night Bitchiness

     I am in Hell. Truly I am in Hell. I had to bring Miss M back to the E.R over her tummy. Fine, I brought my cell, tablet, and laptop to keep us entertained. Easy peasy, right? WRONG!! My POS ex-husband decided that tonight is the perfect time to be a Dad. Are you fucking kidding me? This sack of shit can't even come to Miss B's softball games. And now he shows up, acting like he knows everything and trying to diagnose Miss M on his own. Mother Fucker you haven't gotten the kids for your weekends since fucking MARCH!!  Why am I being punished?

     I hate that man with a fierceness I didn't know possible, and now I am stuck in a little room with him and my kid. FML someone needs to come up with some bail money.... I'm gonna need it!

Can I get a Mulligan?

     Today is one of those days where I really need a do over. The whole day started bad. The alarm went off and scared me out of my wonderful dream of Danila K, as in it scared me so bad I jumped and in the process fell out of the bed and hit my head on the night stand. From there the day has just gotten worse and worse. I walk in the bathroom and slip in water (why must my children play in the bathroom) and bust my ass. Walking back to the kids rooms to wake them up for school I stubbed my toe on the coffee table and then walk into the fucking wall. I mean REALLY WALL?!?! Why is it even there?  Get thing 2 off to school and come back to make breakfast for things 1 and 3, and I burn myself and spill a whole gallon of milk in the floor. I had a Dr appointment. Of course I was running late. And I missed it and they wouldn't fit me in. And to top it all off, I got a speeding ticket. I haven't been pulled over in 6 fucking years. One would think I would just get a warning. Nope that cock sucker gave me a ticket and told me to control my child. WTF?!?! Miss V had to go potty and was telling me that. WTF am I suppose to do, duck tape her mouth shut? So yeah I really need to start today over. It is 3:01pm, it can only get better from here... right?

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Tuesday 10's

     So I'm trying this whole "consistent" blog thing, where I will write something everyday. I had a damn plan for today, but alas, spending all day at the E.R with Miss M cut into what I wanted to do. I barely got home in time to get Miss B off the bus, and then I had to make dinner and clean the house. So what I was going to do today (and trust me you would have LOVED it) will be moved to Thursday, fingers crossed we don't end up back at the hospital, but that is my plan. I'm sure you are wondering what is wrong with Miss M, so I'll tell ya a little about that before moving onto what I'm getting at today. M's tummy has been hurting for the past week. This morning she could barely move, so I took her to her Ped. they did a strep test (which as positive), and then they were concerned about her appendix and sent us over to the E.R. They did blood work, M's white count is elevates (which could be from the strep), and then did an ultrasound.... which showed nothing. so they talked with the surgeon, and said to hold off till Thursday. That her tummy may be bothering her from the strep, but that if it is still bothering her then that I need to call her ASAP, and then they would remove it.  Good times people. Nothing better than spending the day at the hospital with a kid in pain, and a 4 year old that wanted to act like she was possessed. I was inches from brewing up my own holy water and dousing her with it and screaming "Christ compels you" .

     Now onto what I'm getting at today. 10 things about me :)

1: I love to read. I'm currently reading The King by JR Ward (I love me some BDB)

2: I am absolutely petrified of clowns (in fact just the word creeps me out)

3: I simply can not sleep in the dark... or alone

4: I love all music, I can go from Old School country to Godsmack in 2.5 seconds

5: I am a domestic violence survivor.

6: I would love to have more babies

7: I will always choose the Mountains over the Beach

8: I am trying unsuccessfully to quit smoking

9: I am terrible at math. In fact just the fact that I have managed to get to number 9 is amazing.

10:  I have a multitude of health issues. The one currently impacting my life the most is my fibromyalgia.

There we go. 10 things about me. What about you?

Monday, May 5, 2014

Two Words (Man Crush Monday)

Danila Kozlovsky.....

     Yeah if you thought I was just going to say those 2 words, then you just don't know me very well. It is after all "Man Crush Monday".

                                                    Just look at that adorable face!!!

     Living in the U.S, we don't always get to see actors from other countries. Watching Vampire Academy, I discovered this perfect specimen of manliness. WTF Russia, why are you keeping him to yourself? It's time to share Bitches!!!
                                             Danila's hotness in Vampire Academy

     I have scoured the interwebs for info on Danila. And through my findings he is on my "freebie list". Along with Johnny Depp and Brett Michaels. However they have dropped significantly, seeing how Danila takes the first 3 slots. Do Y'all know what that means? I can have my way with him a good 3 times before the Hubby gets mad. But that is more than enough time for Danila to fall hopelessly in love with my sexual prowess  brain, and good soul, not to mention my stunning personality.

     Danila has a lot going for him. Here is a list of why you should love him too.

  1. He is uber cute
  2. That accent! (Can you imagine him speaking his native tongue in your ear during a rousing game of Monkey in the Middle)  
  3. Charity work! He is big time into kids charities. He even helped open a center for children with Autism.
  4. He is a superb actor
  5. Did I mention that he is HOT?

Yep so Danila is my newest Man Crush! It was love at first stalk :)

Friday, May 2, 2014

A note from the mom of a girl to the moms of boys, you lucky bitches!

I miss the good old days. Ya know the days that my oldest daughter had NO INTEREST AT ALL in ... (shudder) boys. 
The days when you had a boyfriend and then broke up a day or 2 later. 
Yep those days are long gone now.
I have a 10 year old going on 16 Y'all.
Miss M has been with Mr.K for 9 months!!!! that's right, NINE FREAKING MONTHS!!!
She tells me things. Like she loves him. And I get to hear about the class will be home wrecker trying to break her and K up, but they won't let that happen because their love is true. Where does she get this shit?
I've met K a few times. In general he is a sweet kid.
He tells M that she is beautiful and smart. He carries her books for her and holds doors open.
I'm proud of her taste in men. She knows not to put up with anyone's shit, and she doesn't. She has K trained!
It's a hard pill to swallow to realize that your babies are growing up.
It's even worse when the person that has your child's attention gives her the "look". I hate that look. Ya know, the look of total adoration.... Yep I hate it! 

And that is when I know that you bitches that harvested only winkies in your uterus... I hate you!
You only have to worry about the winkies you brought into this world. However, I who birthed 3 girls have to worry about every damn winkie in the universe. Even alien winkies!!!  If it has a winkie I am tripping balls and plotting how I am going to remove said winkie if it comes near my daughter. 

There are more days than I can count that I pray that my girls gain a ton of weight and start sprouting facial hair. Just so I don't have to worry about winkies.  But like Hubby said, ugly hairy bitches need love too, and there is pretty much a guarantee that there is a hideous man that would think my hideous hairy daughter was hot. And then I am once again googling winkie removal. Terms like ungloved are Loraina Bobbit flood my mind. 

You know that saying that what when you have children what you did to your parents will come back to you to the 3rd power. It's the universes way of straightening you out, and teaching you a lesson. I am beyond screwed, and all I can say if FUCK YOU UNIVERSE! I HATE YOUR NASTY FACE!!!

Now I am seriously considering home schooling all of the kids just to keep them about from boys for the rest of their lives.

I have grey hairs and wrinkles over this shit! NOT COOL!!!

I'm not ready for Grand babies. 

Not saying my girls will be whores, but the 3rd power shit really has me worried at this point!

I was a shitty boy crazy teen. Now I have a shitty boy crazy, and MOUTHY 10 year old to contend with. 

Yeah you bitches with boys have it easy.