Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Betty Crocker am I not

Ok, So I am not Betty Crocker not do I claim to have any baking skills at all.

I attempted to make Zucchini bread tonight. And FAILED!!!

Maybe I should suck it up and actually follow directions. But in all honesty I would still ruin it.

I do however make some banging home made incing for my store bought cake mix. And the secret .... don't add vanilla extract.. add Amarillo to that shit! Alcohol makes everything taste so much better. Plus it's fun to watch the kids licking the icing bowl clean in the hopes of catching a buzz.

I tend to do the a drop for you a gulp for me when adding my liquors to my recipes. Why? Well Hell, if ya do fuck up on your recipe, you don't notice because you got a nice little buzz going. I'm also more inclined to let my kids help me cook and trash my kitchen when I'm just a wee bit drunk.

Come to think of it, they shouldn't volunteer to help me at all. Or one would think they would know better. I may not notice the disaster zone my kitchen became during my drunkin cooking experience, but come morning time when I have had my 8 required cups of coffee, I sure as Hell notice it then.

And drag their lil asses right out of bed, and a cleaning they will do.

Lesson here? Don't help Mamma cook when she is intoxicated , because she will remember you helped make the mess and put your ass to work cleaning all the next day.............

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