So I was messing around on Facebook when we started talking about migrating "Lady Bits" . And this prompted me to compile a list of things that you men folk should NEVER say. Or even think about saying EVER. What the hell are you some kinda freak?!?!?! And exactly how much do you value your life?!?!
1. Hey Honey, I think my "Man Bits" are migrating......... ( Really? WTF are they migrating to? I mean did they grow wings to fly south for the winter?)
2. I'm not allowed on ANY school property...... Seriously there Buddy, this is a no brainer. You just need to turn Gay cause no sane woman is gonna want your sick ass to procreate with!!!
3. Sit down, WE need to talk............. REALLY ? Because I happen to have a hell of a lot to say!!!
4. Your sister is pretty................... Do You want to feel it when you die? Or do you want me just to knock your stupid ass unconscious then do it? Either way it WILL NOT be pleasant.
5. I'm not sure that one is mine..................... Really? Me either.
6. I'm gay .............................. This is a good way to be murdered and hid in the woods somewhere as well!
7. I've had better....................... Really? Me too. Maybe if you grew a few inches it would be better for the both of us.
8. I was thinking of you the whole time................. Cool Beans cause when we are together I pretend your Captain Jack Sparrow, Or any other form of Johnny Depp!!!
9. By the way, I didn't pull out...... Are you FUCKING kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. It was just sex, it didn't mean anything............................. Once again this = DEATH
11. I didn't know she was your best friend, I don't remember anything....................... REALLY cause she does, and now she know that I lied about how big your winky is you efffin idiot!!!
12. Calling someone else's name in bed......................... = DEATH
13. I don't even know her................................. Duh Hookers don't give names very often!!!!
14. Smell this...................... Are you on crack? I don't know where you've been.
15. I have an STD............................... So do you want friendly castration? Or the kind I intend to give you anyway?
16. I have 6 kids........................... And WTH aren't you taking care of these ?
17. My ex did it better..................... Then carry your ass back to that nasty whore!!!!
18. You look pretty today........................ And I don't every day?
If you Men Folk utter these phrases, Well my best advice is to run..... or get me something shiny, cause I do love the shiny things in life !!
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