Part 1: Groceries......

Yep it's that time of the week, where the Hubs reminds me that the Small's can not live off of bread crumbs. ( Why I don't know, The Bundy kids did for YEARS on married with children. Well that and Tang.) Do they even make Tang anymore? Hmmmmm..... Oh yeah ( Blonde moment), got off track there for a minute.

Anyway, I think I got it right this time. I am going shopping ALONE!!! At midnight. Should be a lot more peaceful, and a lot less people there. And I may make it home with only the things on my list.

I'll let ya'll know how it went in part 2 when I get back................

Violent Fantasies

I had a good morning and most of the day. But one little phone call and I go from zero to psycho Bitch from hell in 2 seconds.
Had a complete and total Moron that I don't even really know call ME and threaten to sue my Hubby for discrimination for not giving him a job. HELLO FUCKFACE , it is not discrimination to not hire someone because they are a drunken idiot. When you drink all day everyday and act like a giant asshat no matter the situation, NO ONE in their right mind is going to hire you!

RedWeek review

 I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

I tried Redweek for a week. From what I saw from the website it's a great way to vacation on a budget. These are timeshares and they are all over the place and very affordable.

 I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Cleaning...... YUCK

I so hate cleaning. Which is what I have been doing all damn day. I even cleaned up the yard. But there is one thing I have been refusing to do. And that is putting away the mountain of clean clothes. We have NO clean clothes in the dressers or closets, yet I have a MOUNTAIN of clean clothes in baskets in my hallway.

I know it's sad. I suppose that I will eventually have to put away the clothing. I am running out of space to pile the clean ones as they come out of the dryer.

Theme Song Friday

Just thought I'd play some of my favorite theme songs ever.

A-Z challenge C is for crazy!!!

So this weeks A-Z challenge by Love Kate is all about the letter C.
C is for CRAZY. Yep you got that right. I am losing my freeking mind here Yawl! Other than being certified crazy, You know with the PTSD, Bipolar, and severe anxiety. My kids are trying to puch me OVER the edge. 
I love my kids, but some days, I truly do understand why some mother's in the wild eat their young. I am inches away from being a lifetime movie special some days.      Well that's it for now

bwahahaha

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out.

When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.

The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.

She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?" The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"

The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it's testicles.

"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."

The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative, he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services, he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services, he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing, even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer, he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration, he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing, although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist, all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist, all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector, all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

An award for me?!?!?!

Well I want to thank my Gal Pal over at Finding my inner skinny girl for bestowing me a wonderful award . It's nice to know that people enjoy my randomness. I gots this here award.....

  Yay me, Whoopieeeeeeeeeeee...............

Here's Da Rulez:
1. Include this award log either in your acceptance post or somewhere in your blog.
2. Answer 10 questions about yourself.
3. Pass the award onto 10-12 deserving bloggers.
4.  Add a link on your post to all of the talented winners and comment on their page to let them know they've been deemed amazing.
5. Thank the brilliant soul that recognized your talent and bestowed this wonderful award on you...and of course link back to them as well.

Q&A time( Yikes)

1. What would you most like to change about yourself?

Hmmm, that is a good question. My weight for one, and my clumsiness, You have no idea how tiresome it is always running into walls and falling up stairs.

2. What is your theme song?

Really depends on the mood I'm in. Hubby thinks it's Buck Cherry's Crazy Bitch. Sometimes I feel that way. But I think It's Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. Yeah I think I'm bad like that. 

3. One part of your life ( memory, action, ect.) that you wish you could surgically remove?

Easy!!! August 19, 2008. They day My Parents dies in a car accident :(

4. What generation do you wish you had been a part of?

The Victorian period. Aside from the plague and all that ickyness, they had awesome clothes :)

                                                       I can soo see me in this!!!!!

5. What was your favorite childhood toy?

I was a bit of a tomboy, so I have to saw my G.I Joes and my barbies. I used to pretend they were married and living in She-rah's castle.

6. What is your favorite house cleaning chore?

Umm None of them? I like washing clothes, but despise putting them away. Which is why I currently have 8 baskets of clean clothes.

7. Do you twitter? 

Not really. I have an account but really, I never use it.

8. Any goals?

Tons of them. My most current one is to not kill my Ex-Husband (even tho I fantasize about it), other than that, pay off debt, get a new car, that's about it.

9. Do you drink Margarita's all the time?

Heck no. I am more of a moonshine or mudslide gal.

10. What is the ugliest car you have ever driven and were embarrassed to be seen in?

Ha, my Best Friend had this old ass Subaru station wagon.  You could start that MOFO with a screwdriver. My car broke down and I was stuck driving the Hooptie from hell for a month. I was torture!!!

Now to pass this wonderful award on.

1. You know it happens at your house   This lady is awesome

2.mrs.monologues  Entertainment for hours here

3.Cassandraz Corner

4. Overworked Supermom

5. Cup of tea and a blog

6. Diary of a mad woman

7. Just keep swimming

8. Deezy Does it

9. My Husband ate all my icecream   Lets talk vagazzling lol

10. Stacy sews and schools

All these wonderful people keep me entertained for hours :)

Plotting

Yeah the title sums it all up. Well, not really plotting but wishing and fantasizing about the EX dying a LONG painful death.

I truly hate that man! This morning I wake up to being served papers for non compliance of visitation. I called him when the kids got out of school in May and he agreed to meet me on Sundays for Summer weekly visitation. Then called back the next day and said it HAD to be Fridays. I can't meet on Fridays. Donald works till about 10 on Friday nights and I can not always get the car.

Since then he has called 1 fucking time, and it wasn't even to talk to the kids or anything.

I am so tired of this shit I could scream. My oldest Little wants NOTHING to do with him. Anyone know a way to make this a reality? He has a drug charge on his record from 2010, can I use that to my advantage. And on top of that, MY kids don't have a room of their own to sleep in there.

Sleepy Time

I love night time. When the kids and the Hubby are fast asleep. Just so I can enjoy some quiet time to myself.  Oh and catch up on my Facebook games.

Bitch FIT

Let me start this off by saying don;t fuck with my kids when they are sleeping! Even if your a drunk neighbor that doesn't realize that your doing it. This equals one pissed off Momma!

Anywho,Ya'll missed my massive bitch fit to the drunken neighbors. Why you may ask? Ok I'll tell ya why.

So the neighbors were gone all day yesterday. Which was great for me. I got to lay topless out in the sun.

Then come 12:30 am, they decide to come up my driveway. ( Why? I don't know, I suppose it's hard to distinguish your own damn driveway while in a drunken haze). Here's the kicker, I suppose they were so drunk that they didn't even recognize their own damn house and barged into mine. One of the 2 couples with a small child decided to take up residence in my crapper. While the other 2 took over MY couch and TV. Next thing I know ( I was blissfully asleep during the first part, drugs will do that to you) , I hear cussing and screaming coming from MY living room. Followed by my a petrified 6 year old crying, and an irate 2 year old that's had her beauty sleep interrupted. I then go downstairs, tell everyone to get THE FUCK OUT OF MY DAMN HOUSE (  I didn't really tell them, it was more like a banshee scream). Next thing I know, I got 2 drunk ass men fighting in MY living room. Drunk Bitch one tries to separate the 2 drunk ass men, when she finds herself flying through MY living room window. Drunk Bitch 2 them figures out they are in the WRONG house and flips out on ME for not locking MY door. Hello Bitch, I live in BFE. I don't get many drunken Morons invading my personal property! So I grab my pepper spray and start spraying the drunk ass men before they further destroy my house. Get them sedated, and call the Po PO, where on arrival, all 4 adults are arrested, and the kid goes to his Aunty.

I'm still kinda in shock over the whole situation. But needless to say, I now have plywood over my window, and spent all damn day cleaning glass out of MY floor from damage that I didn't even fucking cause.

Poor Bree was so traumatized, I had to give her 1/4 an ativan to calm her down. And Tori was up till 5am because of this little wake-up call.

So Yeah I'm a little pissed off over this, but I know where to go next time I get drunk, the next drive way up the road from mine. Karma is a bitch!!!

PS: What did I do to deserve this, and Why in the Hell is MY Hubster working out of town this week! He should have known this would happen.

Shades of Grey

So a Dear friend of mine sent me the PDF versions of all 3 Shades of Grey Books. Needless to say.... I read all 3 books in 4 days. I just couldn't stop reading them.

For those of you that haven't read them.... DO IT NOW!!! I can email you all 3 books, just send me your email. Anyway, let me tell ya, these books are hot, hot, HOT!!! I raped the Hubby every night I was reading the books. Now I really want my own red room of pain.

I wonder if the Hubby would let me put one in the basement?

Week 2 A-Z challenge

B...... hmmmm

I just don't know. I can be a bit of a bitch, but ya'll already know that. I'm a bit broken from my previous marriage, but I don't want to go into that either. So I'll just list all the wonderful things that I like that start with B

Butterflies
Books
Butterscotch
Bears
Bunnies

Yeah that's about it

Oh the Horror

So once again today it was off to the swimming hole.

The water was perfect. But as soon as we got there a million people ( ok not a million, but it seemed like a million to a small swimming hole). And the fun really began. Kids! I love MY kids, because they are mine and by Mother Law I have to. Other people's kids..... not so much. It's like these people don't know how to parent and teach their young proper manners. I mean REALLY! What country encourages other children to splash a 2year old in the face even while she is screaming and crying? I swear I was about to drown someone's kids! I woulda done it too...... if there wasn't so many witnesses. I just can't deal with other people's kids. Makes me thankful that kids are as well behaved as they are.

So we had enough of the water festivities , and as I am getting ready to leave to water ..... something slithers across my foot.

Yep you guessed it. A Fucking snake across my foot! I died a thousand deaths right then and there. That is it. I can not write no more

Chaos

Wow this past week has been HELL!!!!!

As you all should know, we here on the east cost has a hellacious wind storm. ( As in I was petrified a tornado was going to take me and my Kiddo's over the rainbow) . This storm from HELL caused downed trees, and tons, and tons, and tons of people to go without power. And ME without my precious ( IE my beloved internet). for 4 damn days of pure hell, I had to bond with with my children and husband, ( PURE TORTURE !!!!!)

I only had to go without power for a few short hours for a few days. However my poor wonderful Nanna ( who lives in BMFE 3 hours away from me, whereas I only live in BFE ) has been without power for a damn week. Ya'll missed my fantastic bitch fit to her poor unsuspecting electric company, where a used a multitude of colorful words and lovely threats to their lives. Needless to say, my bitch fit finally did her some good. The wonderful people at Burke Electric saw things MY way and restored my Nanna's power 1 hour after my delightful phone call to them! ( YAY ME!!!)

So we spent those wonderful family bonding days swimming in the local swimming hole ( where I saw a damn snake), and just wanting to kill each other...... oops I mean enjoying each others company.

 
                                               overlook my fat ass, Tori not liking the pony!


Of course the 4th of July was during my mandatory internet break. So I took the Kiddo's 3 towns over to enjoy the festivities. Where we basked in the sun, the kiddo's bounced in free bouncy houses, and rode mini trains, and free pony rides.Which I learned, little lady does NOT like the pony's! She screamed EWWW EWW EWWWWWW the whole pony ride and wouldn't even touch the damn thing! Then we played with small explosives. And surprise surprise no one lost any limbs or sustained any 3rd degree burns!

But I'm back now Bitches!!! Did Ya'll miss me?

A= Amazed

So for this blog challenge, starting out with the letter A...... I thought and thought and thought, ( I know, thinking isn't always my strong suit) , Then it finally hit me. My letter A will stand for Amazed. I will blog about all the things that Amaze me . Other than the shiny things in life.  So here we go.

My kids truly AMAZE me everyday. I just can't believe that God has blessed me with 3 wonderful little girls. And smart too.  And precious little Tori. To have been born with cleft lip and palate and to have already gone through 3 surgeries and is still a happy healthy 2 year old.

My wonderful Hubby! He is a truly amazing person. I don't know many men that would commit themselves to a woman like me with ( then 2 ) crazy kids, and a psycho ex-husband. And then raise said 2 children as his own and do more for them than their biological sperm donor can even dream of.  Plus keep me on track and deal with my ups and downs!

My strength amazes me. When I lost My parents in a car accident, I thought I would shrivel up and just cease to exist. But here I am, a little damaged, but all the more committed to being here for my girls.

My wonderful friends. Who truly know me and stand behind me 110% no matter what crazy choices I have made in my life.

Holidays. I know it sounds corny, just I just never out grew the excitement of any of them.

The power of God. How her can truly heal the sick, and make such beautiful sunsets. HE mystify s and amazes me all the time.

And of course all things shiny!!!!