Things my children should know

My oldest is 9. Will be 10 in august.

I  am ALWAYS hearing how her life is going to be when she is older. I can't exactly shatter her dreams right now, so I will put it all here for her to read when she is older.

1. You are NEVER going to marry Justin Bieber ( mainly because by the time you are old enough to date, he will either A: transition to being female, or B: be bald , fat, broke, and hideous ), or Niall Horan from One direction ( because he is a cutie, and some other chick, or dude will have laid claim to him )

2. You will NEVER be smarter than Mommy! I have been there, done that, and went back and did it again, in fact I invented it!

3. No matter how much you deny it, you are just like me! You have my attitude and style!

4. Your life will NOT be perfect. No one's life is, so I think it is a safe estimate that neither will you.

5. You do NOT know everything, and the sooner you know this the better things will be.



Now for things I do know and support. I know that you will succeed in everything that you put your mind to. You are beautiful inside as well as out. And I know one day that you be an awesome Mom , you did after all learn from me. you will make mistakes, and I will be here to help you pick up the pieces. And above all else I will love you forever and always no matter what!

Lessons in Life

I have read quite a few articles and blogs lately pertaining to the Steubenville rape case.  So I will throw what I have to say out there as well.

As a Mother to 3 beautiful little girls, it is my job to try to teach them how to not get raped. Or abducted and murdered.  Strength in numbers, if you see someone suspicious walk the other way. If you feel even the slightest bit threatened scream, stay in well lit crowded areas.

I remember hearing about Morgan Harrington, a local Va Tech student that went missing from a Metallica concert at UVA, whose body was later found in a field. I remember hearing this drunk girl, went outside ALONE at this concert and was never seen again. All I could think was, why didn't she use the buddy system? She should have known better.

Sometimes tho, you can do all the right things and still have it happen.

When I was 17, my friend's A and P had an apartment. I used to stay with them all the time. P had a group of friends over. I knew most of them and thought they were nice guys. They had been drinking. One of the guys was looking at me and A all night long and quite honestly he was weirding us out. Me and A decide to go to bed. We go to her bedroom and LOCK the door to keep everyone out. The whole situation just felt wrong to us. Now, I sleep like the dead. People used to joke how I could sleep through a tornado. I remember falling asleep and suddenly I couldn't breathe. I opened my eyes and this dude was on top of me, with his hand over my nose and mouth, he was IN me!!! I freaked out. I bit the shit out of his hand and threw him off of me. I ran out of the house, where I found A sitting under a tree crying. He had touched her too. I went back in the house and took P's car keys and we ( basically stole ) took her car and went to my brother's house. He in turn drug us to the hospital. This was by far the worst experience of my life. I had to tell what happened to the hospital staff, and the local police department. I had to have a rape kit done! I was violated TWICE in one night. We thought we were safe in a locked bedroom. We hadn't been drinking! I leave the hospital and go back to my brothers house. I remember standing in a scalding hot shower and scrubbing my skin till it bleed. I just couldn't get clean enough. Charges were pressed, then the calls start. A family member of our attacker was calling us and threatening to kill us if we went to court. The police wouldn't do anything about it. 4 months later we go to court, and once again have to tell a room of strangers what had happened. It was humiliating! And all he got was PROBATION!!!

When I was 20 I married my first husband. At the time, I had thought he was Mr.Perfect. Then I met the real him. It started out as mental and emotional abuse, then turned to physical, and then sexual. He would wait till I was asleep roll me over, push my head into a pillow so that no one could hear me screaming or crying and anally rape me. Out girls were less than 15 feet away when this happened!

I have emotional scars from my experiences. I can not sleep with my back toward hubby out of fear that the same thing will happen again.

So when I hear about people DEFENDING rapist, I am outraged. Rape is rape. It does not matter if you are a young drunk girl, a sober girl that thought she was doing the right thing to keep her safe, or a married woman. It is wrong no matter the circumstance.

And they know what they are doing is wrong! Perhaps they were raised thinking they can have whatever they want, and that no doesn't mean no.

What it say about our society when we defend the rapist/murderer, and not the crime victim?

Would you want someone defending your child's attacker?

Shouldn't we be raising our children with a higher moral standard that what we were raised?

Shouldn't we be teaching our young to be more caring and empathetic?

If we don't start now is there even a sliver of hope for humanity?

MHO Monday Mingle

This weeks theme is DRAMA

Ohh, that is my favorite topic!

Here are the questions ( and my answers )

1. What does the word Drama mean to you?

Yeah, this is why I moved out of an apartment and into the the country. Drama is where crazy people love stirring up problems and getting into shit that doesn't concern them. They get off on other people's unhappiness.

2. Do you like Drama in your life?

Hell no! I have enough going on without people causing bigger messes in my life for me to clean up.

3. What is the biggest Drama ordeal you have been in?

Ohh this is a toughy. It had to be when a certain "Drama Monger" decided to trash talk my kids. All because I wouldn't waste my gas to run her to a town an hour away just to pick up 5 dollars? I mean Really Bitch? I will waste more than 5 in gas getting there! Long story short..... I got arrested for "threatening over the air ways". Honestly is wasn't a direct threat. I said I would cut a Bitch over my kids. It's not like I said I was gonna cut her from ear to ear, watch her bleed out , then play in her blood... ( I have said that to someone in the past tho ), I can get quite descriptive in my threats.

4. Do you know someone who loves Drama? Who is it?

The whole effing town of Christiansburg Virginia. I swear most of those people don't know how to go out and do something without getting all involved in someone elses life.

5. How do you avoid Drama in your life?

I moved to BFE! Seriously tho, Drama is like a plague of the Earth. That shit will follow you everywhere.

Inspiring Blog Award

Hey, Y'all see that perty pink pic up there with the crown? 
Huh huh huh? Do ya, do ya , do ya?

Yep you guessed right. I got an award.   This is me dancing : p

Yes I do dance like that. Shut up, it's not funny!

I want to thank my wonderful Gal Pal Stacy over at Stacy sews and Schools. I love you Lady! 



All awards have rules. Much like the Grammy's ( which I will never win )
So here is the low down:

1. Display the award image on your blog.
2. Link back to the person that nominated you.
3. State 7 facts about yourself
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for the award.
and
5. Notify the other bloggers that they have been nominated and link to their post.

^^^^ See? Easy peasy mack and cheesy :)


7 facts about me:

1. I have been telling people that I am 23 for so long, it's sometimes hard for me to remember my real age.  ( obviously this means either 1: I am really 23, or 2: I am so old dementia has finally set in. )

2. I am OCD about the number 7. As in I only get gas at stations with at least 7 pumps. And I count to 7 while driving.

3. I love tattoos. I currently have 6, and have 9 more I want.

4. I am extremely accident prone. I walk into the wall, fall over the baby gate and up the stairs at least once on a daily basis. 

5. I have broken the same ankle 7 times in the past 5 years.

6. I LOVE MIDGETS <<<<< yes you read that right. I am obsessed with them. 

7. I am not shopper friendly. Grocery shopping is a challenge for me. I am truly lucky my smart assed mouth hasn't gotten me arrested at Wal-Mart....... or that I haven't actually smashed someones head in with a can of creamed corn.



Now to pass this award on to 15 more:.......

1. Deezy does it
2. ykihayht
3. Under the Sun
4. cup of tea and a blog
5. my daily jenism
6. The polished Mommy
7. non-stop Mom


Well darn. there's that number 7 again. I can't think of anyone else. Soo I am deviating from the rules ( I'm a rebel like that ) 

Support

I love my friends. I think of them as family that I got to actually choose. And when a friend's "family"  is an unsupportive twat, I feel that I need to defend said friend.

Back story here. I have a sweet friend that I will call B. B is pregnant and just received some horrifying news. B's baby has no brain. B had the choice to terminate this baby, or see this pregnancy through to the end. B has chosen the latter of the two options. B wants to be able to tell her baby goodbye. And this is a choice that I support 110%. In fact I think a lot of people ( myself included) would do the same.

But B's Bitch ass "Sister" ( and I use that term loosely , because sisters are supposed to support each other no matter what ) choose to bash B on Facebook where the world could see it. Not private message her, but post this awful rant on B's wall.

This was wrong on so many levels. First off, she may not agree with B's decision, but a true Sister would support her no matter what. Then to say all this awful shit where anyone and their brother could see it, was just plain disrespectful and trashy.  On top of all that, B has enough on her mind without some ignorant Cunt ( I hate that word, but honestly, no better word can describe this woman'd behavior) making her feel worse than she already was feeling.

Could you imagine? You find out that your baby is going to be born with a horrific disability, and then someone calls you selfish and all kinds of other terrible things?

People amaze me!

I know that I am failing miserably at my New Year's resolution to keep up with this blog and write more. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I have soo much I want to write about going through my head that I don't know where to start.

There is a lot going on.

I went to yet another Swinger Party with the Bestest. And it wasn't as bad as it was last time. I think it's because I knew what to expect.

I'm getting a memorial tattoo for Paige next Saturday on my wrist. It's going to be a butterfly with her name in twined into it. This is going to be my year of the tattoo. I have about 6 or 7 more that I want and I intend to get them all this year! I also have a few more piercings that I want to get.

Bree is on a downward spiral. Honestly she scares me. She has been getting increasingly violent toward Mack and Tori. Her doc thinks she is just expressing feelings that she can't put words to. I call B.S on that. We also believe that she is dyslexic. I was reading with her, she sounds the words out properly, but it's all backwards.

Well that's about it for now :)

Confused

I know I haven't written in forever. I have been dealing with some crazy emotional issues that I think I am just now able to write about.

On December 12, 2012 a beautiful little girl named Paige Leflar joined so many of my loved ones that are already rejoicing on the other side. 

Paige was 3 years old.

When Paige was born on February 20, 2009 she was born with a rare condition called Acromelic Frontonasal 

Dysplasia. When her mom was 7 months pregnant she was told that Paige was going to be 

a 

stillborn and if she made it to 

live birth that she would only live for days.

She had missing parts of her skull, and what she did have was fused. She was born without 

a nose, 

wide set eyes, and she

had a trach to help her breathe. She had acid reflux and would aspirate if she ate by mouth.

 Because 

of this she had a 

feeding tube to eat.

She did not produce growth hormone so her mom gave her a nightly hormone shot. She 

also had to take medication for her thyroid because it did not signal that hormone. 

 

She was also a bilateral amputee from the knee down.She was born without tibia bones, 

severe 

clubbed feet, and 12 

toes.

Despite all of this  Paige was a fighter and had so much light in her. When I found her page

 on Facebook, I instantly fell in love with her.

On December 6 Paige went in for her first craniofacial surgery.  She started losing blood 

and they had to do multiple transfusions. By the time they stopped the bleeding Paige's 

brain started swelling at a rate that her little heart couldn't keep up and her brain wasn't 

getting the blood that it needed .  They induced hypothermia to slow things down.

By December 12th she was gone but remained on life support for one more day so that the 

family could say goodbye.

This little girl amazed me. She was such a fighter.

Paige loved Mickey and Minnie Mouse. She did equine therapy. She even went to camp in 

November of 2012. 

I have been devastated by her passing. 

I didn't know Paige. I never held her, yet I feel as tho I have lost one of my own children. I

 cry every time I think about her. Heck I'm crying right now while writing this. 

It's one of those times where I don't understand why God would bless us with such a 

beautiful soul of this Earth and then yank her away. 

My heart hurts for her family and those of us that fell in love with her from her page on 

Facebook.

I'm at a loss. I have never had a child affect me this way. 

Yeah I'm always a little sad after a child passes, but Paige has really knocked me for a loop.

A Peek Into Heaven

by Callie Sanders Thornton

Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I'm asking for today.
I just want to know how she's doing,
And heaven seems so far away.

Is she playing on the clouds with angels?
Is she laughing and running today?
Does she miss me?
I guess only she knows.
Oh why does heaven seem so far away?

If you just let me look for a moment,
To catch a glimpse of her sweet smiling face,
I promise I won't try to take her,
I know, she's in a better place.

Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I'm asking for today.
I just want to know how she's doing,
And heaven seems so far away...

Also I believe that our loved ones visit us in our dreams. I dreamed of Paige the other night. It was so odd. No one else I knew was in this dream. I heard her giggle. It warmed my heart. I know she is in a wonderful place that we can only dream of. I just wish I had gotten the chance to meet her.  Rest in peace beautiful Paige, and fly high with the Angels. Tell everyone that I love and miss them so very much. And I plan on doing as much good as I can this year and in the years to come in your memory.