Tuesday, August 21, 2012


There are times in my life where I just want to give up. Run away and never come back. Crawl into a hole and just cease to exist. And these past few days I have felt just like that.

Between my health problems, bills, and the stress of being a stay at home Mommy, there are times I feel like just giving up.

I'm sure the biggest contributor to how I have been feeling was the 4 year angelversary of my parents this past Sunday. I pretty much stayed in bad all day and cried. And that is all I have wanted to do since then.
I think about them everyday. And lately it feels as if my heart is being ripped in 2. The loss of them is more painful than any of my health problems have ever been. And I have no clue how to heal my soul. Not sure that I want to. I don't ever want to forget them or what they ment to me.

On top of that. I recently found out that they believe that I have cervical cancer. Which is super scary to me. I haven't had my lady time since May, and the Doc doesn't even know why.

Mackenzie's migraines are getting worse. So her pediatrician wants to start doing cranial massage once a week to see if it helps improve them. And of course as a mother I have the worst possible reasons for her migraines going through my head.

So yeah right now, I want to call it a game and quit................

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