Confused

I know I haven't written in forever. I have been dealing with some crazy emotional issues that I think I am just now able to write about.

On December 12, 2012 a beautiful little girl named Paige Leflar joined so many of my loved ones that are already rejoicing on the other side. 

Paige was 3 years old.

When Paige was born on February 20, 2009 she was born with a rare condition called Acromelic Frontonasal 

Dysplasia. When her mom was 7 months pregnant she was told that Paige was going to be 

a 

stillborn and if she made it to 

live birth that she would only live for days.

She had missing parts of her skull, and what she did have was fused. She was born without 

a nose, 

wide set eyes, and she

had a trach to help her breathe. She had acid reflux and would aspirate if she ate by mouth.

 Because 

of this she had a 

feeding tube to eat.

She did not produce growth hormone so her mom gave her a nightly hormone shot. She 

also had to take medication for her thyroid because it did not signal that hormone. 

 

She was also a bilateral amputee from the knee down.She was born without tibia bones, 

severe 

clubbed feet, and 12 

toes.

Despite all of this  Paige was a fighter and had so much light in her. When I found her page

 on Facebook, I instantly fell in love with her.

On December 6 Paige went in for her first craniofacial surgery.  She started losing blood 

and they had to do multiple transfusions. By the time they stopped the bleeding Paige's 

brain started swelling at a rate that her little heart couldn't keep up and her brain wasn't 

getting the blood that it needed .  They induced hypothermia to slow things down.

By December 12th she was gone but remained on life support for one more day so that the 

family could say goodbye.

This little girl amazed me. She was such a fighter.

Paige loved Mickey and Minnie Mouse. She did equine therapy. She even went to camp in 

November of 2012. 

I have been devastated by her passing. 

I didn't know Paige. I never held her, yet I feel as tho I have lost one of my own children. I

 cry every time I think about her. Heck I'm crying right now while writing this. 

It's one of those times where I don't understand why God would bless us with such a 

beautiful soul of this Earth and then yank her away. 

My heart hurts for her family and those of us that fell in love with her from her page on 

Facebook.

I'm at a loss. I have never had a child affect me this way. 

Yeah I'm always a little sad after a child passes, but Paige has really knocked me for a loop.

A Peek Into Heaven

by Callie Sanders Thornton

Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I'm asking for today.
I just want to know how she's doing,
And heaven seems so far away.

Is she playing on the clouds with angels?
Is she laughing and running today?
Does she miss me?
I guess only she knows.
Oh why does heaven seem so far away?

If you just let me look for a moment,
To catch a glimpse of her sweet smiling face,
I promise I won't try to take her,
I know, she's in a better place.

Just one little peek into heaven,
Is all I'm asking for today.
I just want to know how she's doing,
And heaven seems so far away...

Also I believe that our loved ones visit us in our dreams. I dreamed of Paige the other night. It was so odd. No one else I knew was in this dream. I heard her giggle. It warmed my heart. I know she is in a wonderful place that we can only dream of. I just wish I had gotten the chance to meet her.  Rest in peace beautiful Paige, and fly high with the Angels. Tell everyone that I love and miss them so very much. And I plan on doing as much good as I can this year and in the years to come in your memory.