Already?!?!

     It's that time of year again. The time kids love and we parents loathe. In a blink of the eye it will be Christmas morning.

     All of our hard earned money (or in my case, the Hubby's hard earned money) will fly out of our wallets at record speed.
 
     We are gearing up for the take off of the Holiday season. Starting with Halloween just next month. And the kids are testing my costume making/ shopping abilities. Where do they get these crazy ideas from? Oh yeah that's right. Stupid teny bopper T.V shows. Then on to Thanksgiving. Where we are forced to spend time with people that really know how to push out buttons, and work on my cooking skills, or lack there of. All the while I am steadily working on purchasing the perfect Christmas presents for not just our children, but extended family as well.

     The kids big gifts this year are really going to push my deal finding strategy. On the list is already a new 4-wheeler for the oldest. Which also means that She will need safety equipment.  The middle child wants a Go-Kart. More safety equipment. And the youngest will be getting a snazzy new Power Wheels. Not to mention all the clothes I will be getting them, and non-Santa related toys.

     I can no longer wait for the days when a simple gift card to their favorite store will suffice as the perfect gift. HOW MUCH LONGER CAN I TAKE THIS!!

    Hubby thinks we should just save money until Black Friday. He is absolutely bat shit crazy. After last year, I have swore off any further Black Friday shopping. My fragile nerves can not handle to crowd or the fighting over the last popular toy. If I go again he will surly be bonding me out of jail.

     Can I just go to bed and not wake up till New Year's???

Baby steps

       Yesterday I had a HUGE interview. If hired Y'all would know the new Office Manager/ Optometrist Assistant for Dr's Newman, Blackstock and Associates Optometry.

     I have though long and hard about going back to work. And I think I'm ready to give it a go. I really do miss working, and adult conversations. Not to mention company paid health care, and a constant paycheck.

     Now the hard part. If hired, what do I do with my kids? The baby has never stayed with anyone but us before. And Mack and Bree have only ever been watched by family.

How would someone handle and love my children like I do?

How do I avoid hiring psycho Nanny? What questions do I need to ask? Do I need to do drug testing and background checks?

Would they know what to do in case of an emergency? Will they still watch the kids if they are sick, so neither the Hubs or I have to miss work?

I NEED HELP!!!

On the bright side, Mack brought home her middle of term report today. ALL A's Baby!!! I am so proud and honsetly have no idea where She got her smarts from...........

Blogger Idol

Yeah, that's right. Your's truly is auditioning for Blogger Idol  !!! And quite honestly, I am scared to death. I'm hoping to get some ideas to better my blog and expand my audience from this experience.

So, Y'all really need to support me in this!

My blog will be judged by 16 well respected fellow bloggers. And these prizes are AWESOME!!!

Grand prize is a Samsung Galaxy tab!!! Squeeeeee!!!!!!!  I want it so bad!!!

You can check out all the great prizes here >>>>>>> PRIZES 

You can follow all the blogging excitement on their twitter page here >>>>> Blogger Idol Twitter   or on their Facebook page here >>>>>  Blogger Idol   
Or follow their blog here >>>>>>> Blogger Idol

Just make sure that on the pages that you like that Ya let them know that I'm the one that sent you. ( Yeah I'm a big kiss ass like that)

Well on that note, I am going to go and try to figure out the PERFECT audition piece. Wish me luck :)

Hello Wall

Yeah, anymore, I would get more of a reaction by talking to this here wall, then trying to say ANYTHING to my children. Now I just want to ram my head into said wall.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I stay stressed, and keep a migraine.

I'm to the point where I dread weekends because that means that I am stuck with them all day.  Honestly, I really do not like my kids right now. Yes, I do love them, but I truly do not like them.

The 2 year old I understand. She is a baby and is learning new things everyday.

The 9 year old. She is okay at times. And in general does what I ask her to. Even if I do have to ask her 5 billion times, it does eventually get done.

My 6 year old is the problem. She NEVER listens to me. Flies into rages over the smallest things. Tells me that she HATES me, wishes I were dead, and that she wishes I wasn't her Mom on a daily basis. She is getting violent toward her sisters. And I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing fazes her. Ground her to her bedroom, she doesn't care. Time out is just a big joke to her. And I can whip her all day long and just goes back to do the same thing she got in trouble for to begin with. We have tried reward charts and bribing her. NOTHING works.

I'm seriously at the end of my rope.

Bitchy Wish List

       Since school has started back I have been a mess. I drag ass all day trying to wake up, then come 10pm when I actually can and WANT to sleep, I am wide awake. What is up with this? So for the past 14 days I have been running off of 3 hours of sleep a night. And let me tell you, I have been such a joy to be around! The kids and Hubster just love me being all bitchy, and snappy, gnashing my teeth and snarling at them over the slightest little thing. Spill a drink in my house? And you are likely to lose your head. Evidently I have been so bad, my 9 year old brought me my bottle of Ativan and instructed me to take 5 because I needed them for my attitude. Have I really been that bad? Yeah I have.

On the plus side, all this time NOT sleeping has given me plenty of time to search the inter-web for uber cute animals that I will one day procure.

So here we go...

1. I've had them before and I want more..... SUGAR GLIDERS

look how cute!!!

2. Chinchilla

Heehee they kinda look like Pikachu

3. Hedgehogs

I'd name it Sonic

4. Mouse Possum

A-Freeking dorable!!!

5. Teacup Piggy

I would take little Bacon everywhere with me!!!

6. Kinkajou

Come on, look at that little face. I know you want one too!!!

That about sums up my critter wish list for now.

Letter for Mom

I'm having a hard time lately . I miss My Mom so very much. So maybe writing a letter to her will help me some?

Dear Mommy,

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I miss you more than words can say. And the pain I still feel , even tho you have been gone for 4 years now is indescribable. I feel like there is a giant jagged hole in my heart.

I am sorry for so many things I said to you. And I wish I could take them all back. I wish I could have been a better daughter. I wish I had spent more time with you. And hadn't been such a selfish little shit. I know now, looking at my own daughters, you only did what you did because you wanted me to be a better person.

I wish I could have had a few more years with you. Not just for me, but for the girls.

Mackenzie was your little Squeaky. And she was so close to you. I wish you were here to see what a beautiful, smart little girl she has become.

Breanna, well what can I say about her. She is rotten. But she really does have a big heart.

And then there is Victoria, we call her Tori for short. We named her after you. And you would love her so much.

I wish you could have met Donald. You would love him! He is so good to me and the kids. He saved me.  I was such a mess after the accident. Doing things that I shouldn't have been doing. And he got me away from all that. We never fight. He is truly my soul mate.

Mommy, I'm tired. I am tired of hurting. Tired of crying. I want you here with us like you should be. I just don't know what to do. I am so lost with out you.

There are days that I wish that me and the girls had been in the car with you. Then we could still all be together. And there are nights that I hope that I won't wake up in the morning, just so that I can be with you again. But I never want the girls to know the pain that I'm in. I just couldn't do that to them.

I hope you and Dad, and Papaw are having a good reunion there in Heaven. I miss him too. Please tell him that we love him.

All I know is that I want my Mommy! I need you here with me. I'm really not strong enough to do this without you.

I just want you to know, that I love you with all my heart and I always will. And I miss you.

Love,
Me

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Name Change PLEASE!!!

Well it's one of them days.

You know, when you here MOMMY!!!!!????!!! All damn day long.

I love my kids, but there are some days where I just want to string them up by their baby toes.